Why I'm closing my swimwear brand after 13 years in business
This has been a long time coming.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been sorting through photos from the past 13+ years of running a sustainable swimwear company focused on serving active women. I’ve been reminiscing on locations we shot, photographers we worked with, suits we produced. Reminiscing on how much energy I poured into this swimwear brand that I started when I was 23 years old.
So much energy.
and tears.
and effort.
Starting a business is not for the feint of heart. and neither is shutting one down. I’ve had to process a loss of identity, a sadness for this brand I loved (and hated at times), grief for the girl I used to be, and a letting go of all the goals I did not achieve.
All of those photographs remind me of who I was when I launched my brand in 2012.
I was a nieve young woman full of grit and resilience and a deep desire to prove herself.
I was an inexperienced, gung-ho business woman that soaked up information like a sponge and looked everywhere for help.
I was an untalented designer who learned to make a tech pack and wasn’t afraid to roll up her sleeves and figure it out.
I was a human that didn’t believe in herself.
It saddens me to look at that 23-year-old girl and think of how much effort she put into proving her worth. It hurts my heart to remember what it felt like to not feel good enough.
This brand taught me how to believe in myself. This brand taught me how to be truly confident. This brand taught me that your worth does not come from what you do.
I have learned so much from starting this company.
But I believe that I have now learned all that I can.
I am ready to start something new.
To pour my heart and soul into something fresh. Into something that I believe in.
After 13 years of working on and in my swimwear brand, I’m ready to mix it up. I’ve taken this brand as far as I can take it.
We’ve certainly accomplished some pretty cool things along the way:
We were featured on The Today Show
We won active swimsuit of the year by Women’s Health.
We ran a successful crowdfunding campaign.
We were the first swimwear brand to be Carbon Neutral.
We sponsored athletes across the globe.
We pioneered activewear bikinis.
We were the first swim brand specifically for kiteboarders.
We did a lot.
I did a lot.
I want to acknowledge that. And also say that it’s ok to move on from something that’s no longer serving you.
Seth Godin has a great line: “The opposite of quitting is not continuing on as you are. The opposite of quitting is recommitting with passion.”
I can no longer recommit with passion to Sensi Graves Swim. My passion lies elsewhere.
I’ve cried a lot of tears over this. I’ve wrestled with this decision for probably the last four years; quietly simmering under the surface like a stock pot on the stovetop. I couldn’t let the brand go, like physically couldn’t…until one day I could.
As with much in life, we expect there to be a seismic event. Some cataclysmic shift that signals the end of an era, or encourages us to make a change. But more often there’s not. It’s more like a quiet whispering, a gentle nudge that brings us ever closer to our heart’s desire.
One of my favorite humans, Marie Forleo says “Simplify to amplify”. Let go to refocus. Remove to expand.
For the last few years I’ve been running three businesses:
I thought I could do it all. I thought it was worth it to do it all. There were so many pros. All the businesses are about empowering women. They supported one another. They each felt relevant and impactful.
But I’ve since come to KNOW that quitting is actually super powerful. That there is no point in trying to do it all if it feels like too much. That there is such thing as sunk cost fallacy and that we are allowed to evolve and shift and grow.
In short, I am quitting this business because I am no longer super passionate about designing and producing product. I am ready to put my energy elsewhere.
I am sad to let this business go for a number of reasons. But mostly I am happy. I am excited about what is yet to come. I am excited to work on the things that light me up, namely speaking and mentoring.
I used to think that letting go of Sensi Swim would mean that I was a failure.
Now I know that it means that I’m stronger than ever before.
❤️