The problem with "just follow your passion"

Do this instead

Follow your passion just try things. 👏🏽

“Follow your passion” might just be the most prolific coffee mug, tote bag, and bumper sticker slogan of all time.

We’ve been inundated with the idea that if you don’t know your passion, your mission is to find it. That your passion will lead to peace, prosperity, and fulfillment. That if you’re not lit up by your work, then something must be wrong.

But what happens when your passion feels like a ghost? 👻

What if there’s no spark in sight? What if you’ve never even seen a wisp of it?

For years, I longed to “find my passion.” Sitting with my business coach at 26, I wrote it down as one of my top values. Passion. It seemed so important. So essential. But it felt so elusive.

Me…circa 2013

I was running my swimwear company at the time, constantly doubting myself and wondering why I didn’t feel more… lit up. I looked at others who seemed to know exactly what they were meant to do and felt behind. I wanted to feel passionate—but I didn’t. And that made me feel like something was missing.

All I knew was: I didn’t know what I wanted. 😮‍💨

Looking back, I was putting pressure on myself to feel passion before I ever gave myself permission to try. I was obsessed with feeling it before doing anything. That obsession left me stuck.

But here’s the truth: passion is not something you follow—it’s something you build. 🫵🏾

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset: The Hidden Framework

Let’s talk about the foundation that underlies this obsession with passion: mindset.

Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on growth vs. fixed mindsets changed everything for me. In her book Mindset, she explains that success isn’t just about talent—it's about how you believe you grow.

• A fixed mindset says: “You’re either good at something or you’re not.” These people shy away from challenges and avoid failure at all costs.

• A growth mindset says: “You can improve with effort.” These people believe that failure is part of learning and are willing to keep going, even when it’s hard.

This directly affects how we approach passion.

“Follow your passion” is a fixed mindset narrative—it implies there’s one right thing waiting for you to discover. And if you haven’t found it, you’re doing something wrong.

“Try things” is a growth mindset. It says: passion comes through engagement, not before it.

Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs famously spoke out against the “follow your passion” myth. He noticed that the happiest, most fulfilled people weren’t following childhood dreams—they were roadkill removers, septic tank cleaners, and bridge painters. People who found meaning in doing something well and recognizing its value. Passion followed mastery—not the other way around.

Me now… “finding” my passion for leading women’s retreats, after allowing myself to try.

Passion Follows Curiosity

Passion often starts as a whisper. A flicker of interest. A breadcrumb.

And yet, society demands certainty from us at 17: “Pick your college major. Decide your career path. Know what you want to do with your life.” 😳

But how can you cultivate deep interest if you haven’t even had the chance to experience life?

Cambridge Dictionary defines passion as “an extreme interest in or wish for doing something.” But interest doesn’t just appear out of thin air. It’s cultivated through trying things.

Neuroscience backs this up. When you try something new, neurons fire together—creating new pathways. And as the saying goes: “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

You literally cannot know what you’re passionate about until you’ve allowed your brain to experience enough to make connections.

Try First. Passion Later.

In Big Magic, Liz Gilbert shares how, after the massive success of Eat, Pray, Love, she was paralyzed by pressure. What could possibly follow such a hit?

Instead of forcing creativity, she turned to something simple: gardening.

Tending to plants sparked a small curiosity. That led to botanical research. Which led to a new novel, The Signature of All Things. Passion was not struck like lightning—it was unearthed through following the thread of curiosity.

That’s the magic.

Passion is not a lightning bolt. It’s a thread of interest. A whisper. A breadcrumb. A willingness to try.

Tools for Cultivating Passion

If you’re feeling stuck, don’t wait for clarity—start building it.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

• What made me lose track of time this week?

• What activities give me energy? What drains me?

• When something sparks interest, ask: “What about this intrigues me?”

• What did I love doing as a child?

• What do people come to me for?

• What about my current work do I love doing?
  

You Don’t Need to Know. You Just Need to Try.

Passion isn’t waiting somewhere out there for you to stumble upon it. It’s something you build through trying, exploring, experimenting.

For the longest time, I thought I had to find my passion to feel lit up. But passion is something you generate through action and engagement. The more engaged you are with life, the less pressure you feel to “figure it all out.”

So no—don’t follow your passion.

Follow your curiosity.

Follow the threads.

Follow what lights you up, even just a little.

And trust that passion will find you in the process.

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Let’s normalize curiosity > clarity. If you’re interested in diving deeper on exploring your unique gifts and sharing them with the world, get on the waitlist for my next mastermind.

Go out and be awesome.

Sensi