How to Receive Feedback Without Fear
A Four-Step Guide
How to Receive Feedback Without Fear: A Four-Step Guide
On the path to becoming your best self, you’ll inevitably face commentary on your performance. Here’s the truth: even if you play it safe—don’t start that business, don’t write that book, don’t take on the challenging project—you’ll still receive feedback.
Often, fear of judgment holds us back. We’re afraid of looking foolish, being ostracized, or disappointing others. So we play small, hide, and avoid challenges.
But feedback is one of the most powerful tools for growth. It’s how you crowdsource your way to success.
So how do we overcome the fear of judgment and learn to receive feedback in a way that propels us forward?
Here’s a four-step process to reframe feedback and use it to advance your mission.
Step 1: Sit Your Ego Down
To receive critique effectively, you need to realize a fundamental truth: it’s not actually about you.
Everything anyone says to you reflects their experience—how your actions affect them, how they perceive you, what would work better for them.
I learned this the hard way when I started my swimwear brand. In those early years, I made everything about me. When people said the suits were bad, I heard “I am bad.” My self-confidence crumbled with every criticism because I took it all personally.
I didn’t understand that their feedback was about their experience. If I wanted to create the best possible swimsuits, I could crowdsource my way to success by translating reviews and comments into product improvements—not by spiraling over a two-star review.
I had to shift my focus from myself to the women and girls I was serving.
Step 2: Start With Why
Why are you doing what you’re doing?
Whether you’re receiving solicited feedback through peer reviews and progress reports, or unsolicited feedback through client testimonials, it’s crucial to remember your fundamental purpose.
If your “why” is surface-level—like making money—dig deeper. There’s always an underlying reason for what you do, and it’s never just about you.
When you uncover the why beneath the why, you tap into a deeper well of motivation and understand that feedback isn’t a personal attack.
In my swimwear business, I initially thought my why was to make awesome bathing suits and achieve freedom and control. Essentially, I made it about me. My ego clouded everything, and I wasn’t focused on the people I was serving.
As Seth Godin says: “The opposite of quitting isn’t just continuing on as you are. The opposite of quitting is recommitting with passion.”
When I discovered my real why—to demonstrate possibility for women and girls—everything shifted. I realized how valuable and impactful my work was. I understood that my skills were needed, and I began to believe in myself and my mission. Even if I fell flat on my face, the message was necessary.
Today, in my work as a mindset mentor and inspirational speaker, I believe in the message so deeply that even if I fall a thousand times, I have the strength to get back up. Other people are counting on me. I believe in uplifting and empowering others with my whole heart, so even when I receive criticism, I trust myself enough to keep going.
Step 3: Use the Power of Questions
Now that we’ve established that feedback doesn’t have to be personal and can actually advance your mission, let’s talk about evaluation.
A series of questions can help you refine criticism into something useful:
Is this person someone whose opinion I value? Are they important to me? Do I respect what they have to say?
Is this critique useful? Is there something here that can help me grow?
Do I want to act on this feedback?
We cannot and should not take every critique to heart. Not every comment serves our goals. Focus on objective observations and evaluate whether the feedback can actually help you.
Here’s a helpful technique: write down the names of people whose opinions you genuinely care about. This list helps you release criticism that doesn’t serve you. That said, remember that even people you love are sharing comments based on their personal experience. You don’t have to accept those either.
Step 4: Reframe Negative Comments
Finally, change how you interpret negative feedback.
It’s not a personal attack. It’s not saying you’re unworthy or not enough. It’s simply an opportunity for growth.
You get to decide what to do with it.
That’s the four-step process for reframing feedback. I hope this serves you.
Now go out and be awesome. 😎