How I Learned to Feel Proud of Myself

(And You Can Too)

It took me a long time to feel proud of myself.

I excused myself and stepped outside, the tears already pouring down my face. As soon as the screen door slammed shut behind me, the sobs wracked my chest. Deep, heaving cries left my body as I wept and wept and wept. You would never guess that this was one of the proudest moments of my life.

It was early 2020, and I was at my annual retreat with my business coach and a small group of women. This year, we were doing something different—a 10-year review instead of just looking back at the past year.

Leading up to the retreat, I had pulled out all the stops. I created timelines, poured over old calendars and emails, wrote out achievements, counted travels, and revisited social media posts. I documented everything I had done over the past decade.

It was a lot. I had done a lot.

But sitting in that intimate circle, looking down at papers scattered on the floor representing ten years of my life, something burst inside me. There it was—a decade of love and growth and laughter and struggle and achievements. And trying. So much trying.

For the first time, I saw myself from outside of myself. I could see how much this younger me was attempting. How much she poured herself into work looking for approval. How much she put herself out there, just wanting to be loved and accepted. How brave she was.

And the dam finally gave way—one of self-acceptance and love.

I felt proud of myself in a way I had never felt before. I felt like enough for the very first time in my life. That's when the tears started, and I had to step outside.

I realized, with tremendous sadness, that I had never let myself feel proud before. My heart broke for the me that hadn't allowed herself this feeling. I sobbed for my younger self and how much she had tried. And I sobbed for my current self, finally able to admit she was proud of who she was.

The revelation hit me like lightning: I had been chasing other people's opinions my entire life. But the only opinion that mattered was my own.

The Problem We All Face

This moment showed me something I see everywhere now. We're all constantly striving—for more money, more accolades, more validation. But we're striving from a place of "I'm not enough-ness" instead of wholeness.

We think: "Once I get the promotion, I'll feel successful." "Once I buy the house, I'll be happy." "Once I reach that goal, I'll finally feel worthy."

But science shows us something different. Research reveals that dopamine—our reward chemical—is actually released in greater quantities during the pursuit of goals than when we achieve them. We get more neurochemical reward from the chase than the destination.

It's the journey, not the destination, that lights us up.

So if we can feel enough right now, we can actually enjoy the journey instead of constantly thinking we need to be more.

The Ripple Effect

When humans operate from a place of feeling enough, we show up with more compassion, empathy, and love. We come from connectedness instead of separateness. We realize that healing ourselves allows us to shine more light in the world.

Hurt people hurt people, but healed people heal people. This is how I see the world healing—one person at a time, starting with the understanding that we are worthy and enough, just as we are.

How to Start Feeling Proud of Yourself

1. Do Your Own Review

You don't need a full decade—try the past year or even six months:

• Gather old photos, calendars, emails, texts

• Create a timeline of what you've done and overcome

• Write down everything you're proud of, no matter how small

• Acknowledge your efforts, not just achievements

• Find a quiet space to really take it in

2. Add a Daily Pride Practice

What you focus on expands. At the end of each day, write:

• What's something awesome that happened today?

• What's my win from today?

• What am I proud of myself for?

3. Create a Wins Folder

• Make a photo folder on your phone labeled "wins" or "evidence I'm awesome"

• Screenshot nice comments, emails, texts that make you smile

• Add photos of moments that make you proud

• Reference it when you need a boost

• Do a little happy dance each time you add something!

The more you fill your own cup by acknowledging yourself, the better you'll feel. And the better you feel about yourself, the more you can impact others.

You don't have to wait until you achieve something big to feel proud. You can start exactly where you are, with exactly what you've already done. The pride is available to you right now—you just have to give yourself permission to feel it.

If you're ready to dive deeper into this work and want support believing in yourself, I'm launching a group mentoring program on June 4th. We'll work together on building unshakeable self-belief and feeling worthy now. Learn more and join us here.

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